Denise Francis is a wellness influencer, Tedx speaker, founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Inc. and now an author. After starting her self-love journey feeling lost and confused, she pivoted to journaling and created a self-help book for Black women to do the inner work to heal from trauma. Black Love recently talked with Denise about her book, experiences with anxiety, and her goals for The Self Love Organization.
Black Love: What is The Self-Love Organization?
Denise Francis: The Self Love Organization Inc. is the Digital Wellness Platform for Black Women to heal and end the cycles of trans-generational trauma through self-love, therapy, and wellness. We create healing tools and experiences to make your self-love journey easy, mental health affordable, and wellness accessible. We create safe spaces for self-love to be taught and practiced. Our mission is to bridge the gap between self-love and mental health. Our goal is to change the narrative of the “strong” black woman to the “healed” black woman. If all Black Women started a Self Love Journey we could heal generations!
Black Love: How did your healing journey begin?
Denise Francis: At the age of 9 years old, I decided to be a strong black woman. At 9 years old I experienced my first anxiety attack. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing and I was completely overwhelmed by emotion. I remember myself crying on the bathroom floor as my family continued their argument in the living room. As I heard their voices lower and their footsteps slowly approaching the bathroom door, I decided at that moment not to be a little 9-year-old crying child and decided to be a strong black woman.
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That overwhelming feeling of anxiety continued to visit me as I grew older. Every time it resurfaced I silenced it. These self-silencing behaviors continued well into adolescent and young adulthood. I struggled with self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-worth and so much more for years. It wasn’t until my Psychology 101 class, freshman year of undergrad that I realized that the overwhelming feeling that continued to visit me was anxiety. Finally, at the age of 18 years old, I decided it was time to heal and start my self-love journey. I have been on my self-love journey intentionally and consistently for the last 10 years.
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Black Love: In what ways has therapy helped you?
Denise Francis: Self-therapy has been the key to my healing journey. Over the last 10 years of my self-love journey, I have used journaling as a method of healing. Through this, I have created a journaling technique which I like to call “self-guided therapy” that has helped me navigate my emotions, understand my thoughts and be mindful of my behavior.
Using this technique while journaling has helped me work through my battle with anxiety, my negative self-talk, and has allowed me to understand what I truly need. I remember feeling so lost and constantly overwhelmed. I remember feeling alone in it all. I didn’t have someone I could talk to at the time and going to therapy was not praised in my culture. Self-therapy allowed me to start my journey, on my own terms. It required a lot of self-disciple but it felt empowering to know that I am actively working towards healing myself to become a better version of myself. There was a huge sense of relief to know that I was healing that 9-year-old version of me. Self-therapy has helped me along my journey as I heal that crying 9-year-old child and become a healed black woman.
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Black Love: What made you write this journal, and how do you hope it helps other Black women?
Denise Francis: I wanted to make a journal that feels like therapy to help black women on their healing journeys. I made this journal because this is what I needed. When I started my journey 10 years ago and quickly realized that no amount of face masks will heal my inner child and help me navigate my anxiety. I knew that if I wanted to heal, I needed to do the internal work. This journal is a reflection of my 10-year journey, it is a curated therapist-approved collection of all of the prompts that has helped me heal over the last 10 years, put into one journal. The Soul Study Self Love Journal is a therapist-approved healing tool that guides black women on their self-love journeys. The journal uses 115 self-therapy prompts to heal black women and turn the strong black woman into the healed black woman.
Therapy is on average once a week but self-therapy is a tool that could be used in between sessions for those who are able to seek therapy and an overall healing tool for those who are not so fortunate. I hope this journal helps black women heal. I hope it helps them explore their emotions, feelings, and behaviors. I hope it heals their inner child, break the walls they created and listen to all the parts of themselves that they have silenced all these years.
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