How My Husband and I Create Holiday Memories as an Interfaith Family

I grew up in the church and was taught to follow the Bible and all its Christian teachings. If there was Sunday School, Christian Bible Training, Wednesday night prayer, choir rehearsal, praise dance rehearsal and church on Sunday morning, you better believe my mother had me there. It was instilled that in marriage, you and your partner must be “equally yoked.” This idea always translated to me that my future husband must also be a Christian. Very ironic, however, that this church girl grew up to marry a fine Muslim man. Not only are we just married, we are flourishing in this interfaith marriage, and he is my best friend.

For me, being in an interfaith marriage has not as difficult as one would perceive it to be. With the level of love and respect that we have for each other, forcing religion on one another has never been an option. And although my husband grew up in Islam and I grew up in Christianity, our values actually do align. We both believe in God/Allah, and we both value the importance of compromise. We don’t allow religion to separate us. Thus, creating a marriage based on open-mindedness, respect, inclusion, and spiritual fluency. It also helps that both of our families have been very supportive of our relationship. Religion has never been a factor in us receiving their blessings. While we were dating, we had multiple conversations about religion and how we would establish our relationship going forward. We both witnessed both good and bad growing up in the church and masjid. We both had unfavorable experiences and were intentional about not basing our relationship on religion, and not forcing that on our partner. Having had unsuccessful relationships with people of our same religion prior, we felt it necessary to let go of that standard with each other. More than anyone I had ever dated, my morals and values aligned with him the most. Thus making the decision to compromise with each other so much easier. Thankfully, we never received negative pushback from family or close friends. I think because of how happy we made each other. 

staging-blacklove.kinsta.cloud Related Articles:
Tips to Navigate Your First Blended Family Holiday Season
Black Love’s 2022 Holiday Gift Guide Presented By Mahogany
How I Went From a Single Mother of 2 to a Wife and Bonus Mom of 5 in Less Than a Year

As a family, we also acknowledge Ramadan. We celebrate Eid with my husband and his family by giving gifts and coming together with food. The children still go to church with my mom at times, and they also make dua(prayer) with my husband at times. I believe giving our children the option to explore different spiritual paths is important. Just like we have not forced one set religion on each other, we also do not force it on the children. Halloween for us this past year was different. Not only did the children dress up, but my husband and I also dressed up. Halloween was never acknowledged growing up in the church, and neither was it for him growing up in Islam. We decided to participate this year because we simply enjoy creating memories with each other. Not only did we look good in our costumes, we had so much fun. I think being as open-minded as we are has unlocked a new level of loving one another. Our love has no regulations and isn’t bound by tradition. We are creating our own traditions and it has been beautiful. 

Here are some helpful tips for anyone considering being in an interfaith relationship:

1. Try being as open-minded as possible. It is okay to support and acknowledge the values of your partner’s religion without compromising your own. By being open-minded and finding common ground, you might discover that your values actually align.
2. Focus on the love. Focusing too much on the rules and laws of one’s religion, will leave very little room to love on your on your partner.
3. Your happiness is what is most important. I have been in several relationships with Christian men, and while they weren’t bad people, the relationships were bad. I have been my happiest with a non-Christian man and I never regretted my decision.
4. Take a chance. Being open to a man of a different faith has bought me nothing but happiness. Of course, I thought about what all the church people would think and what my super-sanctified family would say. I feared that would speak negatively because we weren’t “evenly yoked.” But overall, I put my happiness first. Luckily for everything fell right into place.