Our Story: Angel & Jason

We are Jason and Angel Scott. We met on a blind date almost 24 years ago. My best friend from high school said she had someone for me to meet and gave me his number. It took me two months to call him. One day I was at home bored and decided to page him, he was out with another friend and said he had been waiting for me to call him. So he took the friend home and called me when he got in. We talked on the phone for two weeks before we met. When we met, it was love at first sight. We have been together since. I had a little girl at the time and he knew if he wanted to talk to me it was a package deal. I had been through hurt in a previous relationship with my daughter's father and was very hesitant about giving my heart to someone again. Jason broke me down and after four months of dating, he asked me to marry him. I said no the first time. He asked again, four months later and I finally said yes. I was looking for consistency, which he was providing, but again I didn't want to be hurt again. He was a very nice guy from the beginning, it was just me being very cautious. We got married two years later and have been together since we first met. I am so thankful I gave love a second try. I love the relationship that with God we have developed. Now it hasn't been without bumps in the road, we had a married lady trying to talk to my husband when he was trying to invite her and her troubled relationship to our marriage fellowship at our previous church. This was the most hurtful time in our relationship. If it wasn't for God and our church that we used to attend, I am not sure we would still be here. We want to share that if your marriage is going to make it past a serious conflict, you must have forgiveness in your heart, commitment, loving communication and redefine your household guidelines relating to your marriage. You must put guidelines in place to affair-proof your marriage. One thing I learned is- hurt people, like to hurt people. With God at the center of our relationship, it caused me to not be selfish and see the root cause of this problem which was my husband thought he was strong enough to stand on his own and he could help save the world. Now when we speak with couples who have challenges we do it as a team through our business we started in 2016 Focused Marriage, Inc. (www.focusedmarriages.com) We love to Coach marriages to Victory, this is our passion and we served our previous church and our current church for over 15 years combined assisting couples. We love to let couples know that marriage can work when you work have guidelines in place. It's work, but fun.

By |2021-11-09T10:37:58-08:00November 15, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Crista & Algenon

Marriage is a commitment contract that must continuously be renewed and reaffirmed. You must continue to support the foundation on which you started and build from there. Algenon and I had our first child in 2004 and we got married in 2005, when he was 23 and I was 19. We were naive about everything BUT we made the choice and took a leap of faith. No matter the trials and tribulations we have experienced, there is a force of nature that continues to pull us together and strengthens our unbreakable bond. We grew up together and had to navigate the real world in our most formative years. As hard as it was, there is no one I would rather walk this journey with. We have accepted each other as we have changed along the way and it’s the love and support we have for each other that allows us to continue to grow! Even bad days are better with your friend and lover. I said I do in the beginning because I was a young girl in love! But I continue to make that commitment because what we have built is truly a blessing. My love for my husband is immeasurable and every day I am grateful for our journey together. Reflections by Crista

By |2021-08-04T09:09:02-07:00October 31, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: India Marie & B-Love

India and I met at an alter ego party in college in 2010. The kicker is she was a freshman, and I was in my first year of grad school (it's just four years people, lol). Anyway, her alter ego was Big Booty Judy, and she did such a good job making the costume she had me convinced that her butt was real, WRONG, haha! Despite me finding out her butt was fake, we continued to date. I found out not only was she mature and always fashionable, but she was full of ambition and had so much potential to be whatever she decided to be. Even though I knew how special she was (and remains) it took some breakups and forgiveness from India for me to finally get it together and realize that she is my rock, best friend, biggest supporter, and love of my life. She is always in my corner encouraging me, and right by my side in case I need help. We got married in Nov. 2014 and now we are expecting our first child in March 2018. No matter how tough marriage can sometimes prove to be, we know we are in this together and our love is forever. That's why I said, ‘I do.’ Reflections by B-Love

By |2025-01-23T03:42:04-08:00October 30, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Brandy & Maurice

Our journey together started back in 2006. Back then, he was a collegiate athlete on the road to becoming a professional football player. Soon after dating we had our first daughter, and God didn’t see fit for him to go pro. We went through the motions together as he went through random jobs and growth changes as I did too. Life wasn’t easy as we parented young and never really discovered who we were as a couple. But our love for our daughter was unwavering and we pushed through with a common goal of making our family stable. We continued to push one another to returning back to school, dated over and over again, invested in learning how to love one another in the way we needed to be loved and continued to stay committed. Now we stand with a testimony and accomplishment of being an attorney and therapist who are deeply in love and are each other’s biggest fans. It's important for me to always remember where we started. Before the kids, before our careers, before the houses and joint bank accounts. But to remember the love that originated from doing better than what we had endured. Yes, our love started unstable, but it was that feeling of strife that made us persevere. Today, we continue to work to push past our fears with our common goal always staying aligned. We have now built a foundation that was purposely planted piece by piece with bricks. Five 1/2 years into this marriage, three daughters later and I wouldn't change a thing. My husband has loved me through and through. There were times I didn't believe and he carried us through. There were times I said forget it and he carried us through. Even at our lowest he carried us through. We kept our heads high, love on our side, and prayed up. We could have gave up when the fire was thick, but we knew once the fog cleared, favor would be on our side. Thank you Maurice for always carrying me, lifting me up, and loving me. I'll see to it that we will always get through. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Reflections by Brandy Wells

By |2025-01-23T02:18:59-08:00October 26, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Danielle & Devon

Honor. Love. Joy. Service. These are the core values that we decided on during our pre-marital coaching. Neither of us had a clear point of reference for when we met. We became such fast and easy friends that it felt like we’d always known each other. When we started dating, we moved with a swift intention to become a family! We share a common ambition to live a life of purpose and to make money in a way that honors our gifts and changes the world. Sounds great, right? Ain’t too many job listings that fit these criteria, though. We’ve been married seven years and counting! To accomplish our goal, we’ve experienced some significant financial challenges. Let me tell you, a financial lack is like a MAGNIFYING GLASS on a relationship. In the scarcity, we really saw what was there. We went through moments where my earnings supported our household finances and other moments where it was all on him, working at a stressful corporate job that did not fulfill him. @mr_fanfair and I LIKE each other; it’s a non-negotiable. We believe that maintaining our friendship creates fertile ground for romance, support and everything else. Struggling alone didn’t work; we chose to lean on one another instead of turning against each other. We mustered up the energy to have inexpensive date nights and toast cheap wine with our beans and rice. We decided that we would shift the energy of our family and manifest what we wanted TOGETHER. Things began happening quickly. Our visions are manifesting at roller-coaster speed. Thankfully, we are out of the financial woods and able to rest without worrying about money. Through the highs and the valleys, our “like” for each other is the foundation for our love, unity, and endurance. We are still figuring it out, and so grateful to figure it out together. The Fanfairs Reflections by Danielle Fanfair

By |2021-11-09T10:02:12-08:00October 26, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Ab & Seth

Since getting married (and being in this relationship in particular), I've learned that saying, "Well, this is just who I am," is no longer acceptable justification for...anything. My wife and I have very different love languages and ways of communicating with one another. We both need very different things. She's taught me what true compromise looks like. Because of her I refuse to go to bed angry. When I'm upset, I can easily go for long periods of time without speaking. She's taught me that life is way too short to waste time being angry. I've never happily made so many compromises in my life. And I'm a better man for it. From Abenet (@justaba): I've learned that I can't do it all by myself and it's okay to lean on my husband for help. There was a period of time when I would make the bed by myself, and one day – I think I was in a rush or something, I asked Christopher to help me. It literally blew my mind because we did it so quickly and much faster than if I did it myself. Now we make the bed together; partly because we have the same schedule, and partly because it's a small reminder of what we can accomplish together.

By |2021-11-09T10:03:50-08:00October 25, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Elizabeth & Justin

We've been together 8 years (married 3 years). Through dealing with infertility, death, caring for family members, etc. we've learned just how ride-or-die we really are. All pettiness is put aside, we become extremely effective and efficient decision-makers, we're selfless and we place all trust in God. It's a side of our relationship that we could've never known existed when we were dating. As a bonus, we can both find humor in anything and share a laugh during tough times!

By |2021-11-09T10:04:18-08:00October 25, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Black Love: In Sickness and in Health

Inspired by watching the upcoming episode of BLACK LOVE on OWN entitled In Sickness and In Health, Raquelle Harris, married 16 years with 2 kids, describes her experience facing her husband’s stroke. This is her story. “The whole right side of my body is numb,” he said. It was a Monday. I was busy with work, kids, him, and I was in the midst of starting my career in media. I did not have time for any shenanigans. My husband’s statement didn’t fully register at first because my thoughts and emotions were on ten. We were experiencing financial strain and it was affecting our marriage. Hindsight is a tricky thing, it’s almost torturous when you reflect on your past actions and realize what you could and should have done differently. After asking him a few more questions, we attributed the numbness to him sleeping in an awkward position during his nap. Yet, when I arrived home several hours later, he said he still felt numb on his entire right side. That’s when I got nervous and suggested he go to the emergency room. He was scheduled to start school for graphic design the next day, so he didn’t want to go to the hospital. Raquelle & Husband Ben Harris

Our Story: Paige & Osagie

“Expectations set the standard and the trap early on in our marriage. Instead of communicating the things that made us feel loved and cherished, we just assumed that since we always did it so well while we were dating that we already knew. We figured that since we knew each other’s heart that we could essentially read each other’s minds. Holding each other to standards of love that we didn’t even know about was a disaster and it led to frustration, disappointment, and resentment. After much forgiveness and extensions of grace, we discovered that the joy-filled marriage that we both envisioned was realizable and we just needed to communicate to get there. Nine years in, we’ve found that no conversation is too small to discuss and no misunderstanding is too insignificant to talk through. The strength of our love is heavily based on us being on the same page, so we fight together to make sure we are always in step.” Reflections by @fightingthefray

By |2021-11-09T09:40:29-08:00September 5, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Malaika & Justin

You go from being single your whole life and then one day it all changes. Now you have a person who is literally apart of you. It changes every aspect of your life. "Let's talk growing pains!!!!! Many people don't realize that going into a marriage you're literally going from one extreme to the next. You go from being single your whole life and then one day it all changes. Now you have a person who is literally apart of you. It changes every aspect of your life. Think about it, we are two different individuals, We have different likes and dislikes, different things that irritate us, different desires, we come from different homes, upbringings, and backgrounds. All of these things shape who we are and our perceptions of life. Many of these things aren't truly exposed while dating like they are in a marriage. We all want happy and healthy marriages and in order to truly have that it takes work. You have a new responsibility to look in the mirror and how you contribute to your marriage and to learn to give your spouse what they need. We go into a marriage with our own list of expectations, but we have to be careful not to tear each other down when expectations aren't met. Your spouses imperfections WILL SHOW. And there is a growing pain of learning to uplift and not tear down when those weaknesses or imperfections happen to be tied to an expectation that isn't being met. We have to be careful about pointing out the others weaknesses, Instead we should help them navigate through them. Being a support to them with prayer, patience and compassion. There is no one else we'd rather go through this journey with. We've only been married for 3 months and we can literally write an entire book on what we've learned so far!! We realize that a healthy marriage requires growth and constant learning and we are cool with that!!" Refelections by @malaika_chaney

By |2021-11-09T09:39:48-08:00September 5, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Sopha & Anthony

LETS BE REAL RIGHT QUICK. Relationships are never easy. They are processes that must be worked at every single day. It's just like banking. You must invest to see a profit. It took me a long time to understand that. Let me tell you.
 Anthony and Sopha Rush Marriage is just the same. My wife and I have times where we can argue for a majority of the day, but we never walk out on one another. We may get on each others nerves from time to time, but we never walk out on one another. I may say hurtful things from time to time. She may do things that I don’t understand. But we don't walk out on one another. The beautiful thing about marriage is the fact that it is two imperfect people coming together to live life as God intended them to. Full of love, sacrifice, selflessness, and community. Do we do that all the time? HECK NO, but everyday God blesses us with another chance to strive towards it, and that's what we’ll do. Whatever you love, put your all into it and you will see the benefits flow. To my lovely wife @livedeeplyrooted I thank you for being a woman of love and selflessness where ever you go. You already know what it is, I’ll bust heads for you. In the name of Jesus of course lol 🤗  Reflections by @rushanthony

By |2025-01-23T02:09:55-08:00September 4, 2018|Stories|0 Comments

Our Story: Nneka & Armond

Black couples share their reflections on love and marriage. For Nneka & Armond, waiting until marriage to have sex created a stronger bond. "Before we got into a relationship with one another, we were just friends for about 7 years, which was great. Once we started courting, we made a decision to honor God and wait until marriage to have sex. This was one of the best decisions we made because it truly gave us a chance to cultivate a strong relationship, which set a solid foundation for our marriage, but it didn't make it perfect. By the time we got married, I was 1 month shy of turning 30 and quite used to doing things my own way, when, and how I wanted to do them. So we definitely ran into a few challenges and power struggles completely merging our lives together! And honestly, I had a bit of an issue with submission because although I was very aware of the scripture that says wives should submit to their husbands, I was only half on board with it lol. The word submission always came off to me like it was about the man controlling everything and the woman not having a say. That didn't sit well with me. But I learned it wasn't about that at all... it was about allowing him to take leadership in our marriage, not silencing my voice. Knowing that he was submitted to God first and foremost made that a lot easier for me to do. And when I think back on it, our decision to remain celibate was like practice in submission. Although the decision was a joint one, he definitely took the lead with keeping us on track. Do we agree on every single thing? Not at all -- but I love and respect him and he has the same love and respect for me." Reflections by @how2dateGodsway

By |2021-11-09T09:28:57-08:00August 31, 2018|Stories|0 Comments
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