“Happily ever after” is an ideal that seems to have been around since the beginning of time. But what does “happily ever after” really look like in a happy marriage, and, more importantly, what does it really feel like?
Have you ever noticed that fairy tales always end right after the wedding? We get caught up in this huge love story — the prince searches for days for the foot that fits the slipper or travels for weeks to be the kiss that wakes the princess. Then there’s this fabulous party with a fancy dress, fantastic gifts, and festive family and friends, plus the delicious dinner and lovely libations — all of it meant to celebrate the happy couple. But they never show what happens when the celebration commences, the crowd goes home, and the couple realizes that it’s just them and an idea of how they are supposed to be.
And, the thing that screws us up the most about marriage is the perception of how it’s supposed to be.
Although my husband and I dated for about two years prior to jumping the broom, we realized that marriage was a brand new beast. No more “I” or “my,” but now, “we” and “us.” Prior to our wedding day, we both lived our lives as individuals, doing things our own way, having our own ideologies and routines, and then — BOOM! The world shakes and we’re in a period of constant learning, accepting, and evolving.
Toni-Ann Craft and her husband