Hi, my name is Raquelle, but when I’m in an immature mood, I am known as Petty LaBelle. My alternate persona oftentimes rears her ugly head when my husband, Ben, and I argue. There’s no use in fronting — I can be a bitch if I’m not getting my way. When she’s in full diva mode, Petty won’t let me give in, so I may bring up old stuff that doesn’t have a damn thing to do with our disagreement. If we’re on the phone, I’ll deliver a curt “bye” and hang up just to show him I’ve got the upper hand. Or I’ll do passive-aggressive stuff like eat the last of some yummy leftovers or leave his clothes in the washing machine. Yes, I know, scandalous — I’ve earned my moniker. On this week’s episode of Black Love, the couples share their experiences on how to pick your battles in a relationship. Like previous episodes, this show spoke to the beauty and beast within my soul. It is a deft illustration of the dichotomy between heaven and hell — undeniable proof that marriage ain’t for wimps. One of my fave couples is Devale and Khadeen. Their banter is enchanting as they interact with adoring smiles and laughter, sexual innuendo, and sometimes feigned annoyance. When Devale spoke about the fight they had right before the cameras arrived, I had to smile and shake my head. Countless times, my hubby and I have been fussing one minute and flashing smiles the next. I know he resists the urge to choke me at times, and the feeling is mutual. But as Devale surmises, we “suppress all of that for the sake of marriage, that right there is the epitome of marriage!” Echoing her hubby, Khadeen shared a lesson I’m learning about my own marriage. “Perseverance, that’s Black Love.” My homie lover friend and I have been married for 16 years. Keeping peace in my marriage when the devil is dishing out dissension is an art I continue to perfect. I try to check myself and exercise maturity. Some days I succeed, others, I have to dust my pride off and try again. I have become well versed at saying, “Let’s agree to disagree.” Or better yet, I shut my mouth and let him win a round of Mars vs. Venus.