Single Moms: Get a Life!

“Enjoy it while it lasts” was always the sage advice I got from grandmothers watching my tantrum-throwing toddler. I would be trying to put him down, so I could eat a meal with a fork. I’d look at them, smile, and think, “Miss kicking-screaming-snot-filled-face-wipes-on-my-shirt fits? I don’t think so.” A new mother longs for the days when she can take a shower with the curtain closed because every time she closes it her baby’s mouth is open. The life you had before the baby feels like a lifetime ago. Freedom. Independence. Showers. Distant memories of the past. Eating. Sleeping. Shaving. Luxuries you can’t afford anymore, all because you’re somebody’s mom. You took watching TV uninterrupted for granted. You can’t remember a time you walked unencumbered or in heels, without tiny little hands gripped around your ankles as you leave for work. Carried a purse instead of a diaper bag. Read a book without pictures. Be normal. Those are the days I should’ve enjoyed while they lasted. That should be advice these grandmothers dispense. These women done with play dates, birthday parties, and park visits. These brunching-bottomless-mimosa bitches. These sisterhoods of the stainless pants. These women have independent children. Children with driver’s licenses and part-time jobs. These women have teenagers, college students and full-fledged adults that call them mom. So what do these women know? A lot. Single Moms Get a Life

By |2021-11-09T09:30:05-08:00September 3, 2018|Parenting|0 Comments

Me Mode vs. Mom Mode

By weekday, she takes care of the kids, cleans the house, and is the consummate “PTA Mom”.  But come Friday nights, the Louboutins and lipstick come out to play – and it’s none of your business whether they play nice. Ya know, being a single mom has its ups and has its downs. The all-encompassing effort is so difficult that I don't know if I'll ever find the words to describe it, but all my single moms know what I'm talking about. My kids give me so much joy; my whole life is wrapped around them. But I've found in the last 18 months that there are two very distinct Veronikas. There's the "Mom Mode" and there's the "Me Mode." And you have to protect both, you have to protect both. When I'm in "Mom Mode" somehow, no matter how exhausted I am, or how difficult my day has been, I manage to get out of bed every morning at 5:30 am. I pull my hair into a ponytail, get all five of my children dressed and ready, and am out the door no later than 6:45 am. I drive in Los Angeles traffic for over three hours a day to get kids to school, to practice, and to events. I usually have dinner cooked by noon, because if I don't, it won't be ready in time. I get all the little babies – ages two, three, and four – in the bath no later than 7:00 pm and into bed by 8:30 pm. It's not extraordinary what I do – it's necessary. It's my job. Nobody gets brownie points for going to work and doing their job. So, I do my job proudly. I do it with every fiber of my being and it is the great joy of my life to be a mother.

By |2021-11-09T09:18:51-08:00August 31, 2018|Self-Love, Single Life|0 Comments

Bye Bye Pregnancy, Hello Me

For as long as I could remember, pregnancy was a part of my dreams, goals, and marriage. Then, one day, it hit me, my childbearing years were in the rearview mirror. But after a few days of feeling like the closing of this chapter was something to lament, I slapped myself into a new fantasy: My body was mine again. Aw SH*T!

By |2025-01-27T02:20:49-08:00August 31, 2018|Health & Sexuality, Sex|0 Comments
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