Sexting can be a bit awkward if you’ve never done it before, don’t know what to say, or don’t know what your partner likes. Fortunately for you, as your Fairy Sexting Godmother, I have you covered on how to sext successfully. Sexting is indeed a skill, but like most skills in life, it can be learned. In fact, most adults are already doing it. According to American Psychological Association, 88 percent of adults reported sexting in the past year. Sexting just isn’t for teenagers anymore. I am a firm believer that if you’re going to do something might as well do it right. So here are some tips on how to sext with confidence. (You’re welcome.)
DO’s:
Get Permission
Make sure your partner likes to sext. Unsolicited dirty texts can be a turn off if your partner is not into it or if it’s an inappropriate time–read the room. If you’re not sure what your partner is up to, send a simple “Hey, you busy?” text to let you know if it’s a good time. So be sure to get consent first. Consent is always key.
Use as Foreplay
Sexting is an excellent way to add some spice to your relationship. Sexting can build anticipation until both of you are together in person. Think of it as one long session of foreplay until you get to touch each other. Get the build up going until it’s time to go down.
Protect Your Sexts
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It’s important when sending compromising text or nudes to always protect yourself. There are multiple apps nowadays such as Snapchat that automatically delete messages after they are read. You can use apps that store your nude pics in a separate folder. Use the “no face, no case” rule to safely send nudes. If you are sending photos, avoid identifying features like your face, tattoos, birthmarks, or unique jewelry.
Stay Within Your Comfort Zone
Only do what you are comfortable with. If you only are comfortable with sending a flirty message like, “Can’t wait to make love to you tonight!” then do that. If you are someone who likes to be a tad bit more risqué, sending a nude might be more your thing or cover up with a little bit of lingerie or boxers. Start with what makes you comfortable and explore from there.
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Put Effort Into the Visuals
Angles and lighting are key when taking photos and recording video during sexting. Accentuate your best assets. You can focus on areas like your lips or your legs. The point is to entice your partner’s sexual imagination. If you’re in love with your pelvic area or the small of your back, have your nude photo on that specific body part. Get creative. There’s no formula when it comes to visuals. You can do whatever you want. So, why not experiment and be creative with them?
Use Audio
Sexting doesn’t have to just be texts and visuals. You can also incorporate the voice recordings. Send a voice memo of you playing with yourself or reading an erotic poem. Pretend that your partner is in front of you. Record in a sexy voice and send it off with confidence. You can even try a voice altering app that allows you to play a nurse or a firefighter to invite a bit of roleplay.
Use Memes and GIFs
Never underestimate the power of a sexy meme or GIF. Use memes and GIFs to add visuals to what you’ve already written. They add more context to the conversation and give you a break from having to be original.
Remember, sexting should be an enjoyable, consensual experience for all parties involved.
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Hey y'all - I'm Coco, The Conversational Freak, your intimate health and behavior coach, and I've unfortunately witnessed too many women suffer in silence, struggle with body positivity, and deal with the daily nuances of being a woman
From luxurious candles that fill the room with warmth to thoughtful gadgets that keep the connection strong, these products are designed to enhance those intimate moments.
Courtesy of pexels.com A couple’s sex life is one of the most important aspects to a healthy successful relationship. The act blends the mind and the body — the physical and the emotional — into one. It brings people, especially those in a relationship built off of trust and love, closer together. Since sex plays such an essential role in love and marriage, the downs of sexual desire can be daunting. When the once highly anticipated act in a relationship becomes more of a responsibility, it can put a damper on the overall experience. However, it’s important to know that having a low sex drive at any given point is not abnormal. “A low sex drive is basically you do not have as much interest in sex as you may have once had, … so a low sex drive is relative to you and your experience,” says Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist. “There's always going to be ebbs and flows in the ways that we experience our sexual desire and our libido.” Related Articles: Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips It’s Possible! I Rekindled My Sex Life in My 30-Year Relationship The Ultimate List of Intimacy-Boosting Products for Couples External factors, such as eating habits and stress levels, all contribute to the ebbs and flows of your sex drive. Oriowo tells Black Love that these factors play into sexual response cycles, specifically William Masters and Virginia Johnson four-stage linear model. From data they collected, they found that the four stages of human sexual response are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. In 1979, Helen Kaplan took it a step further, adding desire as the first stage. Oriowo says that if people experience a successful cycle and a good resolution that will increase their desire and sex drive. However, when they have a poor experience, often influenced by those hidden external factors, it can contribute to the low sex drive. In agreement with Oriowo, licensed marriage and family therapist Rabiia Ali says that when it comes to sex, everything is connected. “When one part of it is off, everything can be off,” Ali tells Black Love. “If you are experiencing stressful situations, you may not have the capacity to be able to even feel sexual or physical sexual feelings, and that definitely could impact your sex drive.” The status of your mental, physical and emotional health outside of the bedroom impacts the experience you may have within it. If you are experiencing a low sex drive, these five things may be secretly interfering with your bedroom experience. Stress Courtesy of Canva.com Stress is prevalent in the Black community, with people reporting experiencing stress at a higher rate than their white counterparts. In today’s political and social climate, people are more stressed than ever. “One of the biggest things that goes into a low self sex drive is how we're feeling,” Oriowo tells Black Love. “Now, people are experiencing more stress than they have ever experienced before. It makes sense because people are having less sex than they have ever had before.” Low Self-Esteem The way that you feel about yourself plays a major role in your performance in the bedroom. With society’s unattainable beauty standards, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Sex requires you to be in your most vulnerable state with your partner. If you are not comfortable in your looks and your own skin, you can shy away from it. Low self-esteem and confidence may be the cause of your low sex drive. Diet The foods that you eat and the amount of water you consume plays a pivotal role in your sexual performance. Alcohol, along with other drugs, could also negatively impact your sex drive. “When clients are coming in and they're saying that they are not having strong orgasms, or they're not able to get erect, one of the first things I ask them about is their water consumption and their diets,” Oriowo says. “Eat what you normally eat, and add in foods that are high in antioxidants [and that] help with blood flow.” Courtesy of Unsplash.com Lack of Interest A good sexual experience combines an emotional connection with an intense physical attraction. If you have a lower sex drive with your partner, one reason could be that you are no longer interested in them. When the connection that you are experiencing with your partner is diminishing or is lost, it can be difficult to maintain an active sex life. Fatigue When you come home after a long day of work and complete all of your household chores, you may be exhausted. Without the proper amount of rest and relaxation, your body won’t be in the best position to perform in the bedroom. Make sure to get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. Adults who sleep less than 7 hours may have more health issues, including low sex drive.
