Courtesy of pexels.com
Courtesy of pexels.com
Today is National Sex Day! To celebrate, we’re revisiting some of our favorite Sex, Love, and Intimacy stories that cover all the things— from communicating with your partner about sex, to sex after trauma, making sex more fulfilling and more!
Tantric Sex Could Help You Have the Best Sex of Your Life
Tantric sex. You’ve heard of it, maybe even thought about exploring it deeper, but never had a chance to do so. To most, it’s an enigma — something mysterious or difficult to understand. In Sanskrit, the word tantra means woven together. Now, I had even more questions. We spoke with Maisha Khalfani of the Black Tantra Group (BTG), who shared more about the practice and how to have the best sex of your life.
Courtesy of pexels.com
Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips
Imagine waking up to your partner of several years and realizing you don’t enjoy having sex with them anymore. Let’s be honest, being with a partner day in and day out can get a little blah. By now, they have already shown you their best moves, the excitement has faded, their morning breath is more “morniner,” and they fart in their sleep. As a result, the two of you are now walking embodiments of B.B. King’s “The Thrill Is Gone.” But the good news is you’re not alone. Losing sexual desire for your mate isn’t uncommon, according to a study done by 2Date4Love, only 48% of women desired regular sex from their mate after four years of marriage. No one wants a sexless marriage; it just sorta happens over time. There are a multitude of reasons as to why women desire less sex throughout the duration of a marriage, but we are not here to talk about that. We are here to talk about how you can be in the 52%.
Courtesy of @carmen.bridgewater
Related Articles:
7 Things Celibacy Has Taught Me That Have Nothing to Do With Sex
Sex on a Monday
This Sexuality Doula Wants You to Stop Saying Yes to Sex Your Body is Saying No To
Sexuality doula, sex educator, and sensualist Ev’Yan Whitney, shares daily online about sexual liberation defined on your own terms. But a little over a decade ago, she was much like the clients she’s helped, on a journey to discovering her sexuality while processing an immense amount of sexual shame (in part from her religious upbringing where at eight years old, she was asked to sign a purity contract.) There’s a lot of fear, shame, and baggage around sexuality so I did what most people do, went to the book store to see what books I could find. Unfortunately, the books were not only not helpful but they weren’t written by Black folks. I didn’t see myself mirrored in these books and the sexual issues that they were discussing didn’t resonate with me. No one was driving deep into the nuances of sexual shame.
Ev’Yan Whitney
10 Black Women Who Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life
The stigma surrounding female sexuality is still very much alive and well — especially for Black women. When it comes to sexuality and pleasure, historically we are left out of the conversation altogether. Luckily there are 10 amazing Black women below who are changing the narrative. These women’s life’s work is to empower other Black women to embrace their sexuality without bias and judgment.
Courtesy of @skychocolatebae/@ericprochnow
Here’s What You Need to Know About “Squirting”
One of the biggest urban legends in the history of sex is the concept of “squirting.” This has sparked some of the most consistent inquiries such as: Is it real? Can every women squirt? Is it pee? The list of questions is endless. When it comes to squirting people tend to fall into one of several categories; those who’ve experienced it, seen it in porn, or simply heard about it. In fact, according to data collected by Pornhub, from 2010 to 2017 searches for “women squirting” drastically increased. Which means you’re definitely not alone in your curiosity about squirting.
Courtesy of rawpixel.com
How to Introduce Your Partner to Kink
Introducing kink to your partner can feel extremely intimidating. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you’ve been interested in kink for a while or trying to add some spark to your sex life — figuring out the best way to live out your “Fifty Shades of Grey” fantasies with a partner can be scary and awkward. Fear and discomfort around kink typically stems from misunderstanding what kink is, and learning together can be an amazing experience!
Courtesy of @tenesiaandterence
Couples Who Talk About Sex Have Better Sex
It’s been proven that people who talk about their sex lives tend to have better sex lives. Good sex depends on good communication. As simple as that sounds, a lot of couples struggle to find the right words to express themselves without sounding critical or feeling embarrassed. In fact, it used to be easier for me to have the sex talk with my “girls” rather than my partner. I used to worry about how my partner would react. If they would be able to handle it? Would their feelings be hurt? As valid as these concerns were, I quickly learned that by not talking about sex I was doing myself and my partner a huge disservice. Communicating my sexual desires, needs and wants enhanced my relationship and my sex.
Courtesy of @chichiarilove
Related Articles
Hey y'all - I'm Coco, The Conversational Freak, your intimate health and behavior coach, and I've unfortunately witnessed too many women suffer in silence, struggle with body positivity, and deal with the daily nuances of being a woman
From luxurious candles that fill the room with warmth to thoughtful gadgets that keep the connection strong, these products are designed to enhance those intimate moments.
Courtesy of pexels.com A couple’s sex life is one of the most important aspects to a healthy successful relationship. The act blends the mind and the body — the physical and the emotional — into one. It brings people, especially those in a relationship built off of trust and love, closer together. Since sex plays such an essential role in love and marriage, the downs of sexual desire can be daunting. When the once highly anticipated act in a relationship becomes more of a responsibility, it can put a damper on the overall experience. However, it’s important to know that having a low sex drive at any given point is not abnormal. “A low sex drive is basically you do not have as much interest in sex as you may have once had, … so a low sex drive is relative to you and your experience,” says Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist. “There's always going to be ebbs and flows in the ways that we experience our sexual desire and our libido.” Related Articles: Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips It’s Possible! I Rekindled My Sex Life in My 30-Year Relationship The Ultimate List of Intimacy-Boosting Products for Couples External factors, such as eating habits and stress levels, all contribute to the ebbs and flows of your sex drive. Oriowo tells Black Love that these factors play into sexual response cycles, specifically William Masters and Virginia Johnson four-stage linear model. From data they collected, they found that the four stages of human sexual response are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. In 1979, Helen Kaplan took it a step further, adding desire as the first stage. Oriowo says that if people experience a successful cycle and a good resolution that will increase their desire and sex drive. However, when they have a poor experience, often influenced by those hidden external factors, it can contribute to the low sex drive. In agreement with Oriowo, licensed marriage and family therapist Rabiia Ali says that when it comes to sex, everything is connected. “When one part of it is off, everything can be off,” Ali tells Black Love. “If you are experiencing stressful situations, you may not have the capacity to be able to even feel sexual or physical sexual feelings, and that definitely could impact your sex drive.” The status of your mental, physical and emotional health outside of the bedroom impacts the experience you may have within it. If you are experiencing a low sex drive, these five things may be secretly interfering with your bedroom experience. Stress Courtesy of Canva.com Stress is prevalent in the Black community, with people reporting experiencing stress at a higher rate than their white counterparts. In today’s political and social climate, people are more stressed than ever. “One of the biggest things that goes into a low self sex drive is how we're feeling,” Oriowo tells Black Love. “Now, people are experiencing more stress than they have ever experienced before. It makes sense because people are having less sex than they have ever had before.” Low Self-Esteem The way that you feel about yourself plays a major role in your performance in the bedroom. With society’s unattainable beauty standards, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Sex requires you to be in your most vulnerable state with your partner. If you are not comfortable in your looks and your own skin, you can shy away from it. Low self-esteem and confidence may be the cause of your low sex drive. Diet The foods that you eat and the amount of water you consume plays a pivotal role in your sexual performance. Alcohol, along with other drugs, could also negatively impact your sex drive. “When clients are coming in and they're saying that they are not having strong orgasms, or they're not able to get erect, one of the first things I ask them about is their water consumption and their diets,” Oriowo says. “Eat what you normally eat, and add in foods that are high in antioxidants [and that] help with blood flow.” Courtesy of Unsplash.com Lack of Interest A good sexual experience combines an emotional connection with an intense physical attraction. If you have a lower sex drive with your partner, one reason could be that you are no longer interested in them. When the connection that you are experiencing with your partner is diminishing or is lost, it can be difficult to maintain an active sex life. Fatigue When you come home after a long day of work and complete all of your household chores, you may be exhausted. Without the proper amount of rest and relaxation, your body won’t be in the best position to perform in the bedroom. Make sure to get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. Adults who sleep less than 7 hours may have more health issues, including low sex drive.
