It can be difficult to establish intimacy and care for someone who has issues expressing emotions and whom you feel disconnected from.
The connection you build outside of the bedroom is just as important as the one between the sheets.
Pretty much anything sexual you do that isn’t penetrative counts as outercourse.
Being honest with where you are in your journey is one of the first steps in taking action to owning your sexuality and confidence again.
Imagine waking up to your partner of several years and realizing you don’t enjoy sex with them anymore. Learning new ways to reconnect with your partner takes time and practice, but it’s possible.
As we’ve grown, so has our connection, and it’s now stronger than ever.
Just as foreplay deals with the way we treat each other before sex, aftercare is about how we treat each other when sex is over.
What happens when one spouse isn't feeling satisfied or is left underwhelmed? It can be a tough topic to bring up, but good sex is crucial for any relationship to work.
It can be difficult to establish intimacy and care for someone who has issues expressing emotions and whom you feel disconnected from.
The connection you build outside of the bedroom is just as important as the one between the sheets.
Did you know having regular sex doesn’t just benefit us physically but also actually contributes to good mental health?
Courtesy of pexels.com A couple’s sex life is one of the most important aspects to a healthy successful relationship. The act blends the mind and the body — the physical and the emotional — into one. It brings people, especially those in a relationship built off of trust and love, closer together. Since sex plays such an essential role in love and marriage, the downs of sexual desire can be daunting. When the once highly anticipated act in a relationship becomes more of a responsibility, it can put a damper on the overall experience. However, it’s important to know that having a low sex drive at any given point is not abnormal. “A low sex drive is basically you do not have as much interest in sex as you may have once had, … so a low sex drive is relative to you and your experience,” says Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist. “There's always going to be ebbs and flows in the ways that we experience our sexual desire and our libido.” Related Articles: Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips It’s Possible! I Rekindled My Sex Life in My 30-Year Relationship The Ultimate List of Intimacy-Boosting Products for Couples External factors, such as eating habits and stress levels, all contribute to the ebbs and flows of your sex drive. Oriowo tells Black Love that these factors play into sexual response cycles, specifically William Masters and Virginia Johnson four-stage linear model. From data they collected, they found that the four stages of human sexual response are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. In 1979, Helen Kaplan took it a step further, adding desire as the first stage. Oriowo says that if people experience a successful cycle and a good resolution that will increase their desire and sex drive. However, when they have a poor experience, often influenced by those hidden external factors, it can contribute to the low sex drive. In agreement with Oriowo, licensed marriage and family therapist Rabiia Ali says that when it comes to sex, everything is connected. “When one part of it is off, everything can be off,” Ali tells Black Love. “If you are experiencing stressful situations, you may not have the capacity to be able to even feel sexual or physical sexual feelings, and that definitely could impact your sex drive.” The status of your mental, physical and emotional health outside of the bedroom impacts the experience you may have within it. If you are experiencing a low sex drive, these five things may be secretly interfering with your bedroom experience. Stress Courtesy of Canva.com Stress is prevalent in the Black community, with people reporting experiencing stress at a higher rate than their white counterparts. In today’s political and social climate, people are more stressed than ever. “One of the biggest things that goes into a low self sex drive is how we're feeling,” Oriowo tells Black Love. “Now, people are experiencing more stress than they have ever experienced before. It makes sense because people are having less sex than they have ever had before.” Low Self-Esteem The way that you feel about yourself plays a major role in your performance in the bedroom. With society’s unattainable beauty standards, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Sex requires you to be in your most vulnerable state with your partner. If you are not comfortable in your looks and your own skin, you can shy away from it. Low self-esteem and confidence may be the cause of your low sex drive. Diet The foods that you eat and the amount of water you consume plays a pivotal role in your sexual performance. Alcohol, along with other drugs, could also negatively impact your sex drive. “When clients are coming in and they're saying that they are not having strong orgasms, or they're not able to get erect, one of the first things I ask them about is their water consumption and their diets,” Oriowo says. “Eat what you normally eat, and add in foods that are high in antioxidants [and that] help with blood flow.” Courtesy of Unsplash.com Lack of Interest A good sexual experience combines an emotional connection with an intense physical attraction. If you have a lower sex drive with your partner, one reason could be that you are no longer interested in them. When the connection that you are experiencing with your partner is diminishing or is lost, it can be difficult to maintain an active sex life. Fatigue When you come home after a long day of work and complete all of your household chores, you may be exhausted. Without the proper amount of rest and relaxation, your body won’t be in the best position to perform in the bedroom. Make sure to get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. Adults who sleep less than 7 hours may have more health issues, including low sex drive.
I am living testimony that 30 years into a relationship, the sex drive can be reignited.
Imagine waking up to your partner of several years and realizing you don’t enjoy sex with them anymore. Learning new ways to reconnect with your partner takes time and practice, but it’s possible.
Wanna spice things up? The first step in communicating your kinks with a partner is to figure out what those kinks are.
It’s best to stick with one topic at a time, but good communication leads to good sex.
Sexting is indeed a skill, but like most skills in life, it can be learned.
Sleeping together is not just a physical act, but an emotional and intimate one that can enhance your relationship in many ways.
Choosing to abstain from sex wasn't easy, but the life I've built for myself in the process made it clear this was the best decision for me.
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It’s best to stick with one topic at a time, but good communication leads to good sex.
Sexting is indeed a skill, but like most skills in life, it can be learned.
We are afraid to be perceived as a sexual being of any kind because society has taught us that sexual liberation equals promiscuity.
HIV and AIDS awareness is imperative for our community to continue to be educated and educate each other without shame.
Removing the stigma around HIV in the Black community is imperative in forming healthy relationships, spreading awareness, and fusing Black love.
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