Is great fathering really about allowing my children to take the lead on how they should be parented?

When I understand that there is no curse that needs to be broken, and there is no debt that I need to repay, fatherhood becomes an extraordinarily beautiful gift. While in 1st grade, I had a friend by the name of Jon. I remember going to his house for scheduled play dates and being excited to spend the day with the only kid I knew who had a Super Nintendo. But outside of the toys and fun, what was most notable about being over at Jon’s house, was when his Dad would come home from work. He was a big and tall police officer who would enter that house with loud boot steps and would immediately lay his badge and gun on the kitchen table. Jon and his baby brother would run and jump into his arms, and I would tag along behind them hoping to get a hi-five, and maybe a glimpse of what it feels like to have a Dad. Thinking back to those days as a child, I don't recall ever being upset at my father for not being in my life. But sadly, I remember having this deep longing to be proud of him, just like Jon was of his Dad. And now at the age of 33, I realize I have brought that baggage into my role as a father. When I first learned I was going to have a son, there was an immense feeling of pride that was quickly overwhelmed by fear. Deep down inside, I believed I was flawed for being a fatherless son, and I immediately knew I had to do everything in my power not to pass down those shortcomings.

I think part of the joy of having a son is teaching him what you know as a man, good or bad. Part of the joy of having a daughter is the challenge of trying to teach her what you know while trying to also understand the opposite sex and how different we are.