You Can Heal and Build a Healthy Marriage Even if You’ve Never Seen One
Offer each other grace and see each other as imperfect human beings trying to overcome traumatic experiences. Give each other an opportunity to grow and understand.
Offer each other grace and see each other as imperfect human beings trying to overcome traumatic experiences. Give each other an opportunity to grow and understand.
Differences in parenting styles, setting boundaries with your partner’s co-parent, and feeling like an outsider will come — here’s how you can address those challenges.
Working out together gave us an extra reason to touch each other, get close and push each other to different levels of strength.
Although my body has endured so much, it has done amazing things. This acknowledgment provides space for me to positively affirm myself and my body.
After experiencing so much trauma as a single mother of two, I didn’t feel worthy of love. I thought no one would want me. Now, I’m living the life that I once dreamed about.
For me, being in an interfaith marriage has not as difficult as one would perceive it to be. With the level of love and respect that we have for each other, forcing religion on one another has never been an option
The transparency from each couple served as an eye-opener for me in ways that my husband and I can make improvements in our own marriage.
Although I’ve always known marriage is hard work, a lot of what I expected for my marriage was met with reality.
I now realize meeting my husband at 16 was just the introduction to how great my life would be with him.
Years of therapy not only improved my life as an individual, but it has also strengthened my marriage.
If you love your child more than you despise your co-parent, communicating will become second nature.
Jasmine & Salah On Wednesdays, Black Love features couple’s first-person stories of why they said "I do." While we know that marriage is not just about the wedding day but the life you share together, we want to know why you decided to walk down the aisle and take that step toward forever. Want your story to be heard next? Email our editor at yasmine@blacklove.com. Meet Salahuddin & Jasmine Raheem! Fun Facts About The Couple: They met on Myspace and reconnected years later. They are a blended family of 5 children, and interfaith! Years Married: 2 Salahuddin’s Story: Why I chose my wife Jasmine Raheem. Jasmine has been around for years off and on. We always had our own situations with other people, but we always managed to link back up some way. I can admit I wasn’t the man I am today back then so I would not have been good for her. When we reacquainted back in 2017 through some eyes in a DM, it was different that time. We both were ready for something serious but I don’t think Jaz thought it was going to be anything other than what we were used to. The more we hung out the more I fell for her. I then realized how much we had in common as far as morals, family values, and how much we need someone good in our lives. Judging from our past relationships, this was heaven-sent. I couldn’t get enough of Jaz, I needed her presence around. Her smile made everything bad go away in my life. She knew what to say and do whenever I needed. This was something I have never seen before from arguing all the time in the past to understanding and these four words that meant the world to me “How was your day?” Most will take that lightly but I needed that in my life. As the days and weeks went on, I knew she was the one. I remember the first day I told Jaz “I love you." We were at the gym and it came as a shock to her but she had my heart. And that’s when I began to plan our future together. Only months into our relationship I went to pick out an engagement ring. Secretly putting our engagement together it was one of the most nerve-racking experiences of my life. I wanted everything to be perfect because that’s what she was. Asking Jasmine to marry me around friends and family was so unexpected for Jaz but perfectly executed. Getting on one knee in front of our loved ones and seeing Jaz smile from ear to ear was everything I wanted for her. That was the beginning of our happily ever after. With Mrs. Raheem, I grew as a man, father, and husband so much. Without her by my side, my growth would have been incomplete. From the day we reconnected until now I am forever appreciative of Jaz. From her nurturing spirit towards me and our children to how passionate her love is for me. From how selfless she is on an everyday basis to her relieving me of all stressors. I love everything about her inside and out. We are the definition of growth and Black Love. Related Articles: Here’s What It’s Like Being in an Interfaith Marriage How My Husband and I Married and Learned to Trust After Losing Contact for Years Our Story: Roderick & Cherise "We talk all the time about how we are soulmates and how timing is everything." Jasmine’s Story: Salah and I have known each other since I was about 16 years old. We were Myspace friends and he actually lived around the corner from me. A few years later, we eventually became each other’s sneaky links lol. He actually climbed through my window a few times. Other times he would come pick me up, I would spend the day/night with him and he would drop me off back home (down the street of course, so my Mama wouldn’t see who he was). Even though at the time, I was sure that I was just another girl to him, there was something about him that always made me look at him differently. The way he cuddled me, our conversations, it felt like we had a connection. Even though I felt strongly about him, I played it cool and never pressed anything more. Eventually, we entered into relationships with other people. Salah had two sons, and I had a daughter and a son. I had been in a physically abusive relationship and also had been with someone who was emotionally unavailable. He too had been in a toxic relationship. But we both tried making things work for the sake of our children. I remember back in 2016, Salah sent me a direct message on Instagram asking to catch up and go on a lunch date. I declined because I was in a relationship. He asked me if we were talking about marriage and I adamantly replied “yes.” Needless to say, neither one of our relationships worked. I believe it was because we were always meant to be with each other. In December of 2017, He posted this video of himself at the gym. I immediately sent him the eyes emoji and conversation sparked. We got all four of our children together to see how they would interact. Everything was perfect. Salah is the most affectionate, romantic, touchy-feely man I have ever been with. All of these years of dating, I felt like I had to settle. No man could ever meet my needs but Salah. Not only that, but he is excellent with our kids. Six months after reconnecting, on June 13, 2018, Salah proposed to me. All of our family and friends were there. Without hesitation, I said yes. There is no one else I would rather spend my life with. We got married on May 15, 2019. I gave birth to our 5th and final child on December 5, 2019. We talk all the time about how we are soulmates and how timing is everything. If we had pursued a relationship when we first met, we would not have had our four beautiful children and we probably would have been no good for each other at that time. We are literally best friends. We finish each other’s sentences, we love each other’s company and can sit and talk to each other for hours. Salah says all the time that I am his peace and I keep him sane. Especially after a day of hard work. He protects and provides. We are the perfect team. More #WhyISaidIDo stories: Our Story: Clyde & Jasmin Our Story: Larry & Marita Our Story: Andrew & Shaquana Our Story: Matthew & Marnel Our Story: Damon & Jennifer Find the full #WhyISaidIDo collection here.
I sent the eyes emoji to his DM and he immediately responded, “you checking me out?” We got engaged six months after.
Knowing the person my husband used to be, I did not want to end up embarrassed or hurt. But he reassured me that not only would he be the man that I need, but also the man that my children need.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned from "Black Love" is self-love and healing. Without that, there is no way that I can be the woman and wife that I am today.
When I think of fatherhood, I look at it from four different perspectives. I view fatherhood through the lenses of a daughter, a sister, a co-parent, and a wife.
Growing up in the church, I was never really introduced to therapy, but once I started, my mental and spiritual health strengthened.
Although I am a busy wife and mom of five children, I make sure to pencil in time with my girls.
There’s always a challenge. But we’re very intentional about prioritizing our marriage and not allowing the stress of parenthood to interfere with our union.
As we’ve grown, so has our connection, and it’s now stronger than ever.