Featured_Article-intimacy
The holiday season is often associated with joy and togetherness, but for many couples, it can bring stress and even feelings of disconnection. Factors like financial strain, family obligations, and time pressures can significantly impact physical and emotional intimacy with your partner. For many, the added weight of seasonal affective disorder (SAD)—which affects approximately 10 million Americans annually, disproportionately impacting Black communities due to reduced access to mental health care—can further challenge relationships.
This year’s election has also added stress and anxiety. People are worried about their futures and where the country is headed. Staying connected during this time isn’t easy, but it is possible. Experts say the first step in preserving intimacy is clear, honest dialogue. Sharing feelings of stress or sadness with your partner fosters understanding and prevents miscommunication. This is especially helpful when discussing boundaries around family gatherings or financial pressures. Creating space for meaningful conversation can alleviate tension and set the stage for deeper physical connection, according to Dr. Dawn Potter, a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic.
“Having open, honest conversations about what you’re experiencing is key to avoiding misunderstandings,” Potter says. She also recommends carving out intentional time with your partner, even amidst busy schedules.
“Focusing your attention on people you feel comfortable with can help reduce stress and strengthen bonds,” Potter adds. This can include setting aside time for a date night, sharing a meal, or simply taking a walk together.
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Physical intimacy, even simple gestures like hugs or hand-holding, has profound psychological benefits. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that decreases cortisol levels and alleviates stress. Engaging in physical affection can also lower blood pressure and improve mood.
If you find yourself unable to practice physical intimacy, experts recommend mindfulness techniques to rekindle desire. By focusing on the present, couples can enhance their physical experiences. A study from the National Institute of Health underscores that mindfulness is particularly effective in combating symptoms of SAD, which affects Black women more frequently due to intersecting health and social disparities.
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Another critical element of maintaining intimacy is a stress-free environment. Transform your bedroom into a retreat by removing distractions—such as phones and work-related items—and prioritize relaxation. Simple rituals, like lighting candles or playing calming music, can enhance the mood and help you and your partner reconnect physically and emotionally.
Lastly, for couples struggling with the multiple pressures of holiday stress, SAD, and election anxiety, professional counseling can provide tailored strategies for maintaining intimacy. Organizations that address cultural nuances — such as Therapy for Black Girls or the Association of Black Psychologists — can offer insights that resonate with Black couples.
Maintaining physical intimacy during the holidays isn’t just about sex; it’s about creating shared experiences that enhance emotional connection. By embracing communication, touch, mindfulness, and mutual support, couples can weather the stresses of the holiday season and grow closer together.
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Hey y'all - I'm Coco, The Conversational Freak, your intimate health and behavior coach, and I've unfortunately witnessed too many women suffer in silence, struggle with body positivity, and deal with the daily nuances of being a woman
From luxurious candles that fill the room with warmth to thoughtful gadgets that keep the connection strong, these products are designed to enhance those intimate moments.
Courtesy of pexels.com A couple’s sex life is one of the most important aspects to a healthy successful relationship. The act blends the mind and the body — the physical and the emotional — into one. It brings people, especially those in a relationship built off of trust and love, closer together. Since sex plays such an essential role in love and marriage, the downs of sexual desire can be daunting. When the once highly anticipated act in a relationship becomes more of a responsibility, it can put a damper on the overall experience. However, it’s important to know that having a low sex drive at any given point is not abnormal. “A low sex drive is basically you do not have as much interest in sex as you may have once had, … so a low sex drive is relative to you and your experience,” says Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist. “There's always going to be ebbs and flows in the ways that we experience our sexual desire and our libido.” Related Articles: Been Married For Years and Hit a Sexual Plateau? Consider These Tips It’s Possible! I Rekindled My Sex Life in My 30-Year Relationship The Ultimate List of Intimacy-Boosting Products for Couples External factors, such as eating habits and stress levels, all contribute to the ebbs and flows of your sex drive. Oriowo tells Black Love that these factors play into sexual response cycles, specifically William Masters and Virginia Johnson four-stage linear model. From data they collected, they found that the four stages of human sexual response are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. In 1979, Helen Kaplan took it a step further, adding desire as the first stage. Oriowo says that if people experience a successful cycle and a good resolution that will increase their desire and sex drive. However, when they have a poor experience, often influenced by those hidden external factors, it can contribute to the low sex drive. In agreement with Oriowo, licensed marriage and family therapist Rabiia Ali says that when it comes to sex, everything is connected. “When one part of it is off, everything can be off,” Ali tells Black Love. “If you are experiencing stressful situations, you may not have the capacity to be able to even feel sexual or physical sexual feelings, and that definitely could impact your sex drive.” The status of your mental, physical and emotional health outside of the bedroom impacts the experience you may have within it. If you are experiencing a low sex drive, these five things may be secretly interfering with your bedroom experience. Stress Courtesy of Canva.com Stress is prevalent in the Black community, with people reporting experiencing stress at a higher rate than their white counterparts. In today’s political and social climate, people are more stressed than ever. “One of the biggest things that goes into a low self sex drive is how we're feeling,” Oriowo tells Black Love. “Now, people are experiencing more stress than they have ever experienced before. It makes sense because people are having less sex than they have ever had before.” Low Self-Esteem The way that you feel about yourself plays a major role in your performance in the bedroom. With society’s unattainable beauty standards, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Sex requires you to be in your most vulnerable state with your partner. If you are not comfortable in your looks and your own skin, you can shy away from it. Low self-esteem and confidence may be the cause of your low sex drive. Diet The foods that you eat and the amount of water you consume plays a pivotal role in your sexual performance. Alcohol, along with other drugs, could also negatively impact your sex drive. “When clients are coming in and they're saying that they are not having strong orgasms, or they're not able to get erect, one of the first things I ask them about is their water consumption and their diets,” Oriowo says. “Eat what you normally eat, and add in foods that are high in antioxidants [and that] help with blood flow.” Courtesy of Unsplash.com Lack of Interest A good sexual experience combines an emotional connection with an intense physical attraction. If you have a lower sex drive with your partner, one reason could be that you are no longer interested in them. When the connection that you are experiencing with your partner is diminishing or is lost, it can be difficult to maintain an active sex life. Fatigue When you come home after a long day of work and complete all of your household chores, you may be exhausted. Without the proper amount of rest and relaxation, your body won’t be in the best position to perform in the bedroom. Make sure to get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. Adults who sleep less than 7 hours may have more health issues, including low sex drive.
