Mecca Elliot shares her journey of healing and self-discovery following a series of life-changing events. 

Choosing to be childless led Chenoa Maxwell on a three-year journey that would break her physically, mentally and spiritually. But, ultimately, it would lead her to a self love breakthrough that introduced her to the life of her dreams.

Today she is a leading expert on Self Love and Emotional Intelligence, but there was a time when Chenoa Maxwell placed such little value on her life, that she tried to end it.  

What does tidying up have to do with dating yourself? In this installment of "How to Date Yourself", staging-blacklove.kinsta.cloud’s Senior Editor Arynetta Floyzelle finds out.

staging-blacklove.kinsta.cloud contributor Jared Williams reflects on queer representation, self love, and heritage.

 Need a push to see the world on your own? Here's a few beginner's rules to vacationing alone.   

What’s the secret to successful dating? Editorial Colmunist Brook Sitgraves Turner learns it’s all about FLOW.

Jared started working out at the gym to improve his body but he didn't realize he needed to completely change his mind about himself. This led to an improvement of his mind and soul in ways he never could have imagined. Have you ever needed to defeat negative self talk and change your mind about how you feel about YOU! Read more... "This process was about allowing myself to own the innate power I held to change and resist my own defeatist thoughts."

How a solo long-term project helped Arynetta Floyzelle get to know herself, provided a career breakthrough, and landed her in a foreign country.

Here’s what going on 25 first dates in one year taught staging-blacklove.kinsta.cloud columnist Brook Sitgraves Turner about finding your soulmate.

Senior editor, Arynetta Floyzelle, explores "doing it all" with the one essential rule to successfully dating yourself this year.  

I’ve always loved my single life. Scratch that — I’ve always loved my life. Thinking about it as a single girl’s existence usually only came up when in the company of coupled people. That’s when I most often found myself pattering on about if there was someone new, special, or worthy of the “we.”  If there was, I committed to blushing gushes about “the guy.” If not, it was stated, then we rolled on to other topics –– and there were plenty of other topics. My life was full, and the “single” aspect of it was just one aspect. I was open to whatever couplings life brought — including the ultimate coupling, my husband — but I didn’t trick myself into prioritizing something I was not ready for.   As a child and into adulthood, I thought about –– even fantasized about –– my wedding. But it was more the magazine spread edition: what I would wear, where it would be, what that first kiss as a married couple would look like. It was like I was always planning the Instagram post. I know, I know, I can already hear the mumblings of “this is why we have a 50% divorce rate in this country.” What I am trying to say is: aware that I wasn't ready for the complexity and depth of marriage, it was easiest to focus on the surface –– the wedding. In my twenties, as friend after friend paired off into ever-after, I eagerly planned bridal showers, enthusiastically performed bachelorette duties, and loved getting lost in the romance of the wedding day. But I never felt the pressure to find dates for weddings or events, or to be paired off myself. My life was about entertainment and work — far too often, in that order. I loved only having to think about me — who I wanted to visit, what country I wanted to live in, what jobs I wanted to take. I loved the get-up-and-go freedom of single life, and I considered myself a “girl on the go.”   I would bounce to South Beach on a wing and a prayer with just enough money for a four-girl room share at the dingiest hotel on the strip, with my return flight landing just in time for me to drag myself to work.  My closet was packed with sassy dresses and flirty heels to support my “living it up” lifestyle and, when I couldn’t afford a new “look”, I prided myself on my ability to construct a ballgown from a tablecloth and a safety pin. I didn’t have to consult anybody when I decided to move to London for grad school, or when I decided to move back. And this freedom went for the tough times, too. When a family member was involved in a serious car accident, I didn’t have to consult with anyone to move to be closer to them, and when I found myself in debt after two unexpected surgeries, I didn’t have to consult with anyone to move in with my parents to get out of it.   I was only responsible for myself, and it was up to me if I wanted to honor or ignore that responsibility. Sometimes, the choice was a coin toss.

Reiki, paddleboard yoga, oat milk, magic candles and love. Follow Brook Sitgraves Turner as she uses the art of attraction to attract a like-minded partner into her life.  

Always seeking to go deeper into self love and knowledge, Jared Williams jumped at the chance to take the Enneagram test. His findings were unexpected: he learned that his commitment to excellence may have been exactly what was standing in the way of him being truly excellent all along.  

Gratitude is the attitude this holiday season. With that in mind, staging-blacklove.kinsta.cloud’s editorial contributors reflect on 2018 and share what they are grateful for. In this edition, Senior Editor Arynetta Floyzelle talks her return to Los Angeles, the wonders of wisdom, and the life-altering power of self love. As 2018 rolls to an end — almost as swiftly as it started, it seems — I sit in reflection of the year and all of the beauty it has bestowed on me. There are plenty of tangibles in my life to be grateful for: finally feeling at home in a new city populated with lovely friends, some I have known my entire life, some I’ve met since my arrival; an address, as for a very long time I was guest bedroom-hopping; the health of my family, loved ones, and self; my representation and all the work they do for me; living so close to an Erewhon; and, my position at Black Love and all of the joy and freedom it has brought me.

The “Single Girl Rut” can be hard to break and should not be taken lightly. But with strategy, determination, and these three simple (but necessary) rules, one woman is breaking the cycle, one date at a time.

Yvette Bennett was in an abusive relationship when a friend asked her one fateful question:  “Do you love yourself?” Answering that question would transform her life into one of her dreams, it would allow her to accept her sexuality and show her the amazing rewards of unconditional self-love.  

Black Love Doc is back in full swing, and I am here for ALL of it. As my friends and I approach our 30’s, we’re continually thinking about marriage and being with the “right” partner, whether we admit it or not. Our clock is ticking.   However, not all of that pressure is self-inflicted. Some of that pressure, especially for my friends who grew up in the South, comes from our families. Family has an important influence on the relationships we seek. In fact, sometimes that influence can be destructive. On episode two of Black Love, actors Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe discussed the influence Ryan’s family had early on in their relationship:   “I would say for the first, that whole year, the biggest part was how much my family, my mother and my grandmother, in particular, hated him, and they just kept [saying] It’s going to go bad’,” she continued, “It’s almost like that self-fulfilling prophecy. You can poison something and then be like ‘See, I told you it was poison’ –– yea, because you just poisoned it.” Ryan revealed that a lot of the challenges they faced were because of her family: “I will say that created the first, and sort of deep, fissure in our relationships, and had that not happened, a lot of the things that happened in our relationship, probably wouldn’t have happened.” The couple has been married for 11 years. However, Sterling and Ryan admitted for the first time on Black Love that her family impacted the effort, or lack thereof, Ryan put into their union. “I always had a wall somewhere…and one foot in and one foot out for a very long time. It was not a healthy dynamic,” she shared.   

Do you realize there’s a difference between loving yourself and knowing your worth? Tina Knowles and Niecy Nash tell how learning and accepting their worth led to love the second time around.   Think about it. So many women, including myself, are generally conditioned to believe that we need to attract men, and once we find a man who loves us, then we should be happy. Jaleesa Lashay Diaz, Journalist Growing up, I remember being raised on how to “behave” in order to demonstrate self-respect and  carry myself with dignity. It’s not to say that dignity is a bad thing, but somehow those images of what a lady should be seemed closely aligned with the ideals of what “attracts” a man. So along with this lesson of how to “behave”, I also internalized that you need to find a man that loves you, and if you’re that lucky, cherish that man, and do whatever you can to keep him, because there’s a chance that you’ll never find that love again.

Netflix’s Nappily Ever After did a bold thing by making a movie with a talented, well-loved, veteran actress also known for being drop dead gorgeous....and stripping her of her hair. But, do you know who else was bold? Sanaa Lathan, the film’s star, who actually shaved her head for the film.